Kilimanjaro? Yes you can!!!

"You are climbing Kilimanjaro?!, Ash, I have to come with you?!"  Not sure if those were my exact words as we were out for lunch on a Saturday afternoon in Glasgow and our lunches usually have more liquid in them than food.  Lindsay then joined us and her words were may be the same, I suspect she only has a vague memory of this afternoon too.

So we all woke up on the Sunday with hangovers and a realisation that in 18 months time we would be climbing the Worlds Tallest Freestanding Mountain!  Oh Fuck!  What had we agreed to?!

Me being me, went online and immediately paid my deposit so I wasn't backing out of it and then told anyone that would listen that I was doing it, again so that I couldn't back out of it.  "Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway" was what I kept and keep quoting.

We had talked, whilst drunk, about how we would train together and do a Munro every month for 18 months and by then Mt Kili would seem like a wee mole hill!  Eh well those 18 months have passed and we are just over a week away from the climb and we failed to climb a munro together in the whole 18 months - shit or what?  To be fair we have all walked a couple of munro's separately and done a few wee walks together but we were much better and far more organised at turning up for the Kili Crew Drinks and Dinners.  If only drinking and eating were the main goal of this Mountain!  We would definitely SMASH it.

Having climbed Mount Kailash (5,700 metres) 5 years ago I have a vague idea of the torture we are about to put ourselves through so in the last 3 months I have trained quite hard with the help of Vince, my amazing Personal Trainer!

I hate the gym and particularly hate cardio but he made tossing tyres and carrying a 32kg kettle bell in each hand from one end of the gym to the other seem fun!  Vince then got me dead lifting and that is where I became fully engaged in my fitness.  It was me versus a bar and various weights and how many reps I could do before the bar beat me - I don't take being beaten well so I pushed myself beyond what I thought my body was capable of doing to the point where I deadlifted 92.5kg - 1.5 times my own body weight!  Who knew I was that strong?!  and I actually enjoyed it!  or did I enjoy that I got to have 5 minutes rest in between reps and although it is a total cardio work out it didn't really feel like it because I didn't really move?!!! Anyway Vince has started something that I will continue.  We did move on to rack lifting in our last session where I lifted 150kgs - afterwards I had black bruising from the top of my knee to the top of my thigh as I dragged the bar all the way up my body - it was a tough lift but I definitely felt I had more to give with the rack lifting!!

Who knew that my love of Geoff Capes and the Worlds Strongest Man in my youth would lead me to weight lifting in my forties!!!  LOVE IT!!!  Wonder what Mr Capes is up to these days - is he still alive?  Off to Goggle..... PHEW it appears he is still alive https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geoff_Capes

So here I am able to lift a f'ing mountain but can I climb it?!  We will know in a couple of weeks!!

I will do my best to blog every day, there will be times when I don't have internet or signal so there may be a few blogs get up loaded at the same time but please keep checking back for up dates.

You can sponsor my climb - helping two amazing animals charities, even a couple of pounds makes a huge difference to the doggies and horses.  THANK YOU! https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/suzanne-reid-1

suzxxx

This was early on in my Deadlifting training - think this was 70kg

This was the night I reached my PB of 92.5kg!  This pic shows me doing 80kg I think.

my 150kg rack lift! what a maniac! do you think the girls watching in the background are jealous
 or just waiting for me to fail?!!

Positive Things Happen to Positive People...

Have any of you read The Secret?  Its funny, I read it and as I read it I felt I already new everything that was in the book.  Now we can know it all but putting it into practice is so much harder!

I had a very spiritual experience around the words "Positive Things Happen to Positive People"!  Now those who know me know I have LOTS of ghost stories to tell - I have had lots of 'experiences' with the other side - but this story isn't really about ghosts - or may be it is but I think of it more of my Guardian Angels and Spirit Guides agreeing with me and letting me know that they agreed!

So to the story....

3 years ago - the anniversary is only a couple of weeks away - I was producing a short film called Saved which was a Creative Scotland and BBC Scotland funded short film.  We only had a budget of £11k so a tiny amount of money to achieve our script.  Prep went well and we had 2 12 year old kids chosen as our stars who are great wee actors.  On day one we had 22 young children as background extras in the school bus - and as many of you will remember the 1st November 3 years ago was when we headed into one of the worst winters to hit Scotland for 15 years and of course it started snowing.  Day one was not too bad and we got through it as the snow was not too heavy but by day 2 Cumbernauld our shooting location was getting deeper under snow and everyone was looking to me as the producer to make the decision to call it a day or to keep going - as all my wonderful crew realised that day is that I do not give up on anything easily and I dragged them willing or not through the whole of the shoot!  I am sorry its just a bit of snow!!! We dug ourselves into our locations and we dug ourselves out of locations.  We lost locations because we couldn't even get 4 wheel drives into them so I went off and found new locations - some of them I never was able to get permission from because they were not home, SORRY, but I did try!  There were crew who couldn't get through the weather and I filled in for them but there were so many crew who did make it and picked up a shovel and started either digging us in or digging us out.  We had trouble from the locals and while the security guard hid behind the camera truck, I talked the youths out of throwing ice bombs at my crew as they packed up the camera kit.  This wee short film was a true test of my resilience, grit and determination.

It was on Day 4 of a 5 day shoot with some of the worst weather - the M8 was closed because of ice on the motorway - that my location manager called me in hysterics saying we couldn't get into cumbernauld because of a jack-knifed lorry.  I ask if there were other roads open into Cumbernauld and in the locations managers panic she started telling me that we weren't going to get in and we should all be allowed to go home - it was at this point I tried to calm her down and tell her that everything would be fine and there is more than one road into Cumbernauld and I did understand it was difficult on the roads because of the weather BUT it wasn't impossible.  I said to her "Come on positive things happen to positive people"!  She didn't believe me and after we said goodbye on the phone I repeated my Mantra "POSITIVE THINGS HAPPEN TO POSITIVE PEOPLE".  At that point my radio starting turning up and was turned to full pelt - Kylie Minogue, I should be so lucky! - I didn't have a car with one of those fancy steering wheel radio controls and as I looked at the radio surprised that it had suddenly started blasting out as it was on quiet as I was on my handsfree, I moved my hand towards the  radio control but something stopped my hand from turning down the music - it was weird - it was like a forcefield between my hand and the radio making me acknowledge my statement and 'I Should Be So Lucky'.

Something stopped me from switching Kylie down and by doing that it made me acknowledge what I had just said - Positive Things Happen To Positive People.

Its true - I dragged my crew, some willing, some not so, through our wee short film and it has done very well on the festival circuit winning some awards - for those interested here is a clip http://vimeo.com/channels/420075/22835788

That moment of being physically stopped by some amazing spiritual/angel guide from turning my radio down has stayed with me and 3 years later I have a great belief that being positive is the only way to make things happen in your life.

I have realised more and more in the last few years that I am surrounded by people who just don't have it in them to thing positively and I have noticed that lots of not so good things happen to them - they seem to manifest bad things with their gloom on life.  I want to shake these people and make them realise that actually by turning your thoughts by just 1 degree to being positive you can make a tiny bit of difference to your own life and those of others.

I have lived part of my life being one of those negative people - when you can only see that shit is coming and why would anything good happen but I have turned this around and feel so blessed to have what I have and I say THANKYOU a lot to the Universe - it has never failed to deliver if it is something that is right for me.

If you REALLY want something then go and get it - don't be scared or don't think you are good enough just go and get it.  Manifest it, imagine yourself doing it and that is what will happen.  If you really want it then as the Universe to help - the Universe LOVES it when you ask for help - especially when it is for something that you really really want.

NEVER doubt and always believe in what you want, its the ONLY way forward!

Good luck!

suzxxx

Always push yourself out of your comfort zone....

Have I spent my whole life pushing myself out of my comfort zone?  No I haven't.  But have I more than occasionally pushed outside of my comfort zone?  ABSOLUTELY!  As I get older I keep pushing and pushing and pushing or may be its because I am in search of answers to my many questions that makes my keep pushing and pushing and pushing.

I think by pushing out of my nice safe place within my body and mind I am becoming a better person (some of you may disagree!!) - I have become more patient, more tolerant, more willing to listen, more willing to learn and more willing to allow myself to breathe.

There is a book called 'Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway' by Susan Jeffers http://www.susanjeffers.com/home/detailtemplate.cfm?catID=2234 (cut and paste the link if it doesn't work).

The book is available second hand on Amazon for 49p so no excuse not to have read it for those of you on a journey of self development!

It is a brilliant book where she states there are no right and wrong answers just the opportunity to grow.

By pushing our own boundaries we open ourselves up to so much the World and Universe has to offer.

If we go way back to when I was 17 years old, if I had stayed within my comfort zone I would have taken a full time job at the local supermarket that was offered and never dreamt of leaving my home town and jumping on the London Bus on my own  to go and find work in the city where the streets are paved in Gold (hmmm that bit is a myth!).  So taking a modern twist on this some 26 years later, if I had stayed within my comfort zone I would NEVER have gone to South America on my own.  Everyone I talk to about it is usually either shocked that I did this amazing trip as a lone female who wasn't able to speak Spanish or they are in total admiration with a tinge of jealousy as they would love to do something similar but would feel fearful to travel on their own because 'something might happen to them'.

Was I worried about my trip and what might happen to me - yes, occasionally in moments of doubt about my own mortality of course I worried about 'what might happen if...' but I have become a great believer in Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.

My Ayahuasca Ceremony is probably proof that I pushed my comfort zone a bit too far - I still haven't written in my blog my full feelings on what happened during the 5 hours of the ceremony and the days, weeks and months after this but I am getting closer to being able to, you will all be pleased to hear!!  I really struggled to cope for the first half of this ceremony - having pushed my body, soul and conciousness beyond what they were ready to accept but fortunately they all caught up with me so I had 2 and a half hours of beautiful resolution.

When I tell others the tale of my Ayahuasca Ceremony I again see the disbelief that I did this on my own just with a Shaman in the middle of the Amazon jungle and again some people have total admiration at my madness.  People look agast and say to me "But you could have died!"  Yes that is true but if you are not fearful of death (my Buddhist beliefs take over here and that is definitely a different longer blog!) then why would that stop you from doing anything?

I see in some of these people that they would LOVE to do something like this - seeing my act as completely Courageous and that there was NO WAY they could do anything like that because they are not Courageous - I tell these people to FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY!!  Its not about Courage, its about pushing your own boundaries which help to make yourself a better person who will then be able to deal with the life we feel we have been dealt in a better/different way.

Another book that has been instrumental in my self development is Who Moved My Cheese by Spencer Johnson http://www.spencerjohnson.com/Book-WhoMovedMyCheese.html (cut and paste if the link doesn't work).

I am 43 years old and there are many times in this Life (and many of my other lives - but thats going back to my Buddhist believes!) that my Cheese has been moved - sometimes by myself but usually by other people.  I like to think I have become a very adaptable person who, when change happens, goes with the flow, although there has definitely been a few FUCK YOU within my adaptations!  Definitely in the last 4 years since I started my "journey" I have been hugely adaptable when my Cheese has been moved.  Do I moan that yet again my Cheese has been moved - FUCK YEAH! But I have, over the years, spent less time moaning and more time adapting and getting on with it.

So my advice to you is Feel the Fear - the best bit of all of this is when you Feel the Fear but say Fuck It and do it anyway!  Oh that brings me to the Fuck It Guides - a brilliant trio of books - could not have got to where I am in life today without this trio of brilliant books by John Parkin - go to the website and do the Fuck It Test http://www.thefuckitlife.com (again cut and paste if the link doesn't work).  John is brilliant, amazing and so perceptive.  I aspire to making The Trainee Healer book as funny, as interesting and as huge a learning experience as John's books are.

suzxxx

Playing catch up and need some help from the Universe...

Okay huge apologies to my regular readers who have missed my blogging ramblings!!! Its been a busy time and also I have to have something happen for me to want to update my blog and I am not sure I have had anything interesting to say.

I wanted to share that I have asked the Universe for help in getting all the shite done that I need to do before December!  I have 3 Bach flower remedy human case studies which are done but i need to type up and send in but 2 of them are brain busters and need a lot of thought as I type them up so have been putting them off.

Along with that I have my EFT Case studies to do - one was on myself and my work on getting my confidence back with riding horses and anyone who has read my blog when I was travelling in South America knows that EFT certainly worked to help me but need to type that up and have 2 other case studies, one nearly ready to type up and the other I just had my first session with the client on Sunday so still a bit of work to do there.

My Animal Bach flower remedies course I need to type up 10 consultation meetings into some kind of coherent professional field study along with a personal assessment.

I now have 6 case studies and 5 assignments to finish in the next 5 months for my Equine Healing.

I will now have a huge amount of books to get through for my Equine Behaviour qualification which I am doing and also a huge field study that lasts 6 months.

I also have my colour therapy case studies which are sitting completely untouched as everything else has taken priority.

Wholly fuck when you write it down it is a lot of work to do and along with all my real work that pays the bills I am going to be more than busy for the next few months.

So I am asking the Universe to help me - I need focus, energy and some kind of spark to get me pushed on and get me finishing up everything - my flower remedy work is so important to me that that will come first then EFT and then Equine Healing and then my Equine Behaviour but it really is all a little over whelming.

Have I taken too much on - probably!!! Do I wish I hadn't done so many courses - NO!  I have learnt so much and grown so much as a person because each course has helped me on my own self development journey but its time to get the head down and get on with it all!

I attended an EFT mentoring group on Saturday in Edinburgh which was brilliant and has got me all excited about EFT again (Emotional Freedom Technique)  its so simple and it really works!  so pushing on with those case studies which have to be in by December otherwise I will have to do the whole course again.

Although in saying that my Bach Flower Remedies for humans is so over due and is due in at christmas too and if I don't get that in I have to sit the exam again - no F*cking way I want to have to do that again.

So as you can see I took too much on but with the help of the universe creating time and motivation for me i will get it all done and pass everything and get all my certificates before Christmas!

Watch this space.....

suzxxx

When Animals Heal Other Animals and then talk to humans....

If I hadn't witnessed this myself I would have thought it not possible for my cat Finnley to be lying next to a baby Thrush!  I had been pottering around at my pond and turned round to see Finnley sitting with this baby Thrush - Milli my killer cat was sitting there too at the beginning but as I approached she moved towards me as if to stop me going any further.  I sat down a couple of feet away and for more than 30 minutes I watch Finn give healing to this baby Thrush.  

I could see the baby thrush closing its eyes and taking the universal energy deep within itself.  This wee bird was loving every second of this healing and Finn, my big black buddha, was just so amazing.  I know when Finn is healing as he taps the end of his tail up and down - the way a cat does when it is annoyed but finnley does his whole tail when he is annoyed and only the tip when he is healing.

What an amazing healer he is - at one point he leant forward and touched his nose to the head of the thrush and the thrush just sat there looking up at him continuing to absorb the universal energy.

I began to worry that the Thrush had may be flown into the conservatory window and was stunned but it was quite far away from the window and was on its feet and at moments when there was movement around it would open its eyes and look around.

My friend FJ who had just arrived back from riding climbed over the fence to see what I was looking at and she took these amazing photos - it truly was like watching a miracle happen, we both felt it.

While sitting watching this happen I was thinking about the day before where I got a call on location to go and help a 'sparrow' that was trapped in the piano room at the house we were shooting in.  

I arrived with the Unit Manager and looked around and finally spotted a baby robin sitting on a stool under a desk.  I asked the unit manager to open a window and then to leave me with the bird - I planned on trying what my good friend and animal communicator does with spiders - she actually talks them into the plastic tub so she can put them outside!!  I witnessed her doing it so I thought I might be able to do this with the wee baby robin.  

After the unit manager left I started to heal and let the baby robin feel the energy which would allow us to communicate.  The birdy was a bit confused to start with and didn't really understand how it had got into the house or how it could get out so I talked to it gently and explained that the window was open and all it needed to do was to fly out of the window and it would be free to go and find its mother.  It took 15 mins before eventually the robin realised what it needed to do and it dropped to the floor from its position on top of the light and then flew up and out of the window.  

So as I watched this baby bird with my big cat I wonder what the message was - my shaman Adrian told me that my guardians would send me messages in the form of other beings so just like the millepede I wondered what the message was.  At this point Finn got up from his healing spot and came over to me so I thought the Thrush would then fly off but it turned towards me and looked me straight in the eye and said 'write the book'.  Where the fuck did that come from I asked and the wee birdy continued to look at me and said again 'write the book, we were all fledglings but eventually we have to fly'.  Thats the kind of message you get in those buddhist cards on Facebook! How amazing to get this message.  Yep I have been fannying around and not writing the book although I keep remembering stories that I must remember to include in The Trainee Healer book but never actually have sat down to even think about writing it.  I don't know where to start is part of the problem but I suppose starting at the beginning would be a good start and I think that was part of the message from the baby birds - start at the beginning just as they are!

After the Thrush delivered its message, it flew off into the trees fully energised from his big black buddha healing session.

I thanked the baby Thrush, Finnley and Milli for allowing me to be part of that whole experience and have new determination to sit down and start writing from the beginning - wish me luck!!! suzxxx

What does joy feel like?

I received a newsletter from Sulas Therapies www.sulastherapies.co.uk -

Roushan from Sulas Therapies is my EFT and Bach Flower remedies for humans teacher and in her newsletter she asked as part of a competition to email her and let her know what brings me joy.  I had to really think about that which really surprised me as I thought I would be able to answer that straight away.  Of course I can come up with the smart answer and could have emailed back to say "receiving your newsletter brings me joy"!! but I was actually slightly perplexed that I could not put my finger on exactly what brings me joy.  I thought that I would say that healing animals brings me joy - but does it really?  It makes me really happy to be able to help animals but does it really make me joyful?

I would have thought that I could say that walking in my woods would make me joyful but actually walking in my woods makes me feel lucky.

I absolutely would have thought I would say that cuddling my animals would make me feel joyful but thinking about that it isn't joy I feel but a complete wholeness and happiness that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside but that isn't joy.

I love feeding the fish in my pond and really look forward to the evening when I feed them and watch them and since I started with 4 rescued gold fish and now have hundreds I feel blessed to be able to watch them but again its not joy I feel but really happy to be able to watch the fish feed and grow in numbers as the years go by.

I definitely would have said that I would have felt joy whenever I get to see my best friend as we live 3000 miles away from each other so we don't get to catch up as often as most best friends do but when I think about when we do meet we are full of fun, love and laughter but is it joy that I feel when I see my best friend?  I am beginning to think that I really don't know what feeling joy is!

The description on google is that joy is an intense and especially ecstatic or exultant happiness - so I started to think through when I have felt exultant happiness - I certainly felt moments of sheer bliss when I was travelling in South America but was it exultant happiness?   Ok may be I can pin point joy to Macchu Piccu and also cantering handsfree on a beautiful horse in Argentina and arriving to the top of the mountains on horseback on Chile and looking around and all I could see were the Andes mountains for miles and miles - ok now I am getting it and beginning to understand the feeling of ecstatic or exultant happiness!

I have to admit I thought I was more joyful in my normal daily life as I do feel very blessed and lucky to have what I have and to be able to do everything that I do but exultant happiness isn't something that enters my life on a daily basis.  I reckon many people out there will feel the same as me - do you know what joy actually feels like?  It has taken me 24 hours of thinking about it to be able to put it into words in this blog.

I feel slightly sad that I wasn't able to pin point immediately the joy in my life but what a great thought process to go through - enjoy your thought process.....

suzxxx

A year ago....

If you follow my blog regularly then you will know that I am not one for anniversaries of deaths but a year ago yesterday I helped a beautiful old horse on his last night and morning on this earth.

Of course I didn't remember the anniversary as I generally don't hold onto that information but I was reminded by my very good friend who was Brummells guardian.  She sent me a lovely email thanking me for helping her and Brummell through that time and sent this beautiful picture of him.

It is so lovely that my friend has said thank you but I don't need thanks, I learnt so much about healing from my experience that evening and the next morning that I will always be eternally grateful to Lindsay and Brummell for letting me be part of that time and allowing me to be there with them.

Brummell was very accepting that this was his time although grateful for the life that he had had.  He showed me pictures of himself and Lindsay as they took part in cross country events - he LOVED those times so much but knew that his back legs had been failing him for so long and now his front legs were struggling - in mind and the rest of his body he felt like a cheeky wee youngster so it was hard for him to accept that his time had come but as I arrived to give him healing he knew he was ready.

When I arrived and approached Brummells stall he stretched his neck and put his head over my shoulder and pulled my body towards him.  He held me firmly like that for at least 10 minutes.  It was acknowledgement from him that he recognised my energy and knew I had been sending him healing.  It was a moment that confirmed to me that I am on the right path and that I am a good healer and that I can make a difference in this world.

We then spent 2 beautiful hours together that night, I was in his stable healing as he would present various parts of his body to me to concentrate on with Lindsay looking on, absorbing the healing herself.  The next morning was an early start and although I was feeling very emotional about what was ahead I knew I had to be strong.

Thank you so much to my lovely cousin Neomi who put me up in Fife that night and did her best to distract me with lots of fun chat and laughter.

When I arrived the next morning Lindsay was already there with Brummell - she was in his stall with him so I stood a distance away and healed from there - this was their time.  I asked for all my spirit guides, human and animal, to surround Brummell and Lindsay in beautiful healing white light and asked them to send the strength for us all to get through this experience.  Lindsay then took Brummell out for a walk in the field with the long grass where he had a good attempt at chomping some of it even though he didn't have any teeth left!  I watched from the gate as they enjoyed their last time in this life together.  The sun came out and shone brightly.

Then it was time - Lindsay's mum had come to collect her as she didn't want to be there at the final moment knowing that this would be far to stressful to bear.  The universe knew that I had to wait and learn more in this lesson and my car was blocked in by the vehicle of the people who had come to put Brummell to sleep so as I watched Brummell being led into the barn and the door being closed I knew that I was just waiting for the huge bang of a gun - I closed my eyes and asked all of my guardians to come closer and to surround Brummell and to hold him and then help him gently to the ground as I heard the noise that wasn't what I expected - it wasn't a big bang of a gun instead a softer bang.  Brummell had left his failing body and was heading off to discover what his new life would be.

I left the stables and was heading to my sisters house when I got a call from Lindsay to say to come over to her house so I headed there knowing that is where I needed to be.  We chatted, laughed and cried - it reminded me of how everyone behaved after my little sister died - no one really knowing what to do with the emotions they felt so everything spilling out at the same time.

I then headed to my big sisters house where I had a bit of a meltdown - holding the space so that Brummell and Lindsay could have their last time together was tough but I wouldn't have changed it for the world and thank you to my big sister for hugging me and listening as I tried to speak whilst sobbing!

That night and morning with Brummell and Lindsay confirmed to me that I am a good strong healer and that I need to continue my work and I have since then specialised in bereavement healing.  Dealing with bereavement has been part of my life for the past 31 years and because I know that you can't just accept and move on from the pain of someone or a pet dying I think that makes me a better and stronger person and I want to help other people feeling the same as I have done and still do to understand that its ok to feel the grief for as long as we need to and not to be pressured to get over it.

suzxxx