Is it easy to leave the past behind? I would have said that i am good at that as i have stayed reasonably well balanced throughout my life even considering my childhood but while i say this i still carry with me enormous grief for my little sister who died when i was 12 and she was 6. So why do i carry this grief and find it hard to talk about my sister without crying - is it because i found her dead in her bed? or is it just that grief stays with us all our lives but no one really talks about it so we don't really know how people feel? Whereas i will discuss my little sisters death - i have always been able to talk about it, always in floods of tears though, and can still see everything that happened playing in my head like a film.
I keep getting messages that i need to leave this grief behind - she died 30 years ago - and i listen to these messages and everyday i work to lighten this grief and through my last 2 years of spiritual healing i am certainly better than i have been - i can discuss my sister or even type this blog without crying which is a huge step forward.
On my colour therapy course last week our teacher read my aura and he described seeing a torquoise band of colour come down over my right shoulder and tighten like a fist around my heart. Whats interesting about the colour is for some reason i always associate my little sister with this colour - i don't know why but as soon as he said this i knew it was another message to let go of the grief i hold in my heart for the loss of my little sister. She is telling me i have to move on.
I think my fear of leaving my grief behind is because i have always felt my little sister is with me and i have felt this since the day she died so if i let go of my grief am i letting go of her so she is not with me any more? Its really selfish isn't it - how can her spirit move on if i hold her so close to my heart?
So i think now i have learnt how to heal the past whilst doing my Reiki 2 its time to use my newly learned Reiki sign of Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen to send it to mine and my family's past to help us all move on and leave this grief behind. So i plan to meditate and use the Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen symbol as a bridge and ask my little sister to join me on the bridge where we can walk together to the other side and we can hug each, tell each other we love each other and then let her spirit move on, i will then cross back over the bridge leaving my grief behind - well that is my plan anyway. Will let you know if it works.
suz
xxx
Brilliant !!! You are ready to do this. This is not leaving her, this is allowing you both to move on. You know she will never leave you,the bond is always there. But it is time to allow both your spirits to be free, yours to grow even more and hers to move on a little. I think this will strengthen your connection, because you will no longer rely on one another, but come together as equals when needed.
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