Dealing with Sadness

Arthur, my big beautiful sheep died yesterday afternoon.  Now he was 13 years old so really old in sheep life terms so I shouldn't be sad.  I should be joyous for the 13 years he chose to stay with me and I know that he will be reincarnated and he will find me again, I am sure we have been together in a few lives so we will be together again.

I am working away from home just now so its the worst time to hear that you have lost a loved one but I had to wipe away my tears after the phone call, grit my teeth, pull myself together and get on with my work.  Never in a million years will these people see me cry... they are doing a good job of giving me a kicking on the job and I refuse to give into that behaviour so they cannot see my weakness.

Now I think part of my lesson in this life is to give into weakness but it is just not in my personality so I don't think I will ever learn this lesson.  I will keep coming back life after life and will stand firm sticking out my chin and grit my teeth no matter what.

When my animals die I do try to be positive about the life they have had.  My animals have a 5 star life so they have had the best chance at life you could imagine but it doesn't help with the grief.

I had run out of rescue remedy the other day but desperately needed it so I was lucky that my driver went off to get some more which has helped me a lot today.  Rescue Remedy helps with so many issues and it has Star of Bethlehem for shock and grief which is what I needed and still do.

Mark is digging Arthurs grave and making sure he has a good send off - so sad I can't be there but glad he is being buried on my land.  If he had been put to sleep by the vet I would have had to send him off to the vet college and I wouldn't get him back but when I get home I will be able to meditate at Arthurs grave and help to send him on his way to reincarnation.

So how to deal with such sadness - we need to be able to process our feelings and have the time to let the emotions flow through our bodies - I don't feel I have that chance so I am holding it and expect when I get home next week that I will be able to grieve but grief can last a life time and we have to accept that.  

I think I can get over the sadness and the loss and eventually just think of all the good times with Arthur - he was such a character and so so strong even as a lamb he would have us chasing around trying to catch him for worming or shearing and on his first shearing the generator blew up and he bolted and refused to come in for about 6 months... he wasn't sheared that year and had a big fluffy coat the next year!

Rest In Peace my beautiful big Arthur - you were special to me and thank you for sharing this life with me.  Look forward to seeing you in the next.....

suzxxx