A year ago....

If you follow my blog regularly then you will know that I am not one for anniversaries of deaths but a year ago yesterday I helped a beautiful old horse on his last night and morning on this earth.

Of course I didn't remember the anniversary as I generally don't hold onto that information but I was reminded by my very good friend who was Brummells guardian.  She sent me a lovely email thanking me for helping her and Brummell through that time and sent this beautiful picture of him.

It is so lovely that my friend has said thank you but I don't need thanks, I learnt so much about healing from my experience that evening and the next morning that I will always be eternally grateful to Lindsay and Brummell for letting me be part of that time and allowing me to be there with them.

Brummell was very accepting that this was his time although grateful for the life that he had had.  He showed me pictures of himself and Lindsay as they took part in cross country events - he LOVED those times so much but knew that his back legs had been failing him for so long and now his front legs were struggling - in mind and the rest of his body he felt like a cheeky wee youngster so it was hard for him to accept that his time had come but as I arrived to give him healing he knew he was ready.

When I arrived and approached Brummells stall he stretched his neck and put his head over my shoulder and pulled my body towards him.  He held me firmly like that for at least 10 minutes.  It was acknowledgement from him that he recognised my energy and knew I had been sending him healing.  It was a moment that confirmed to me that I am on the right path and that I am a good healer and that I can make a difference in this world.

We then spent 2 beautiful hours together that night, I was in his stable healing as he would present various parts of his body to me to concentrate on with Lindsay looking on, absorbing the healing herself.  The next morning was an early start and although I was feeling very emotional about what was ahead I knew I had to be strong.

Thank you so much to my lovely cousin Neomi who put me up in Fife that night and did her best to distract me with lots of fun chat and laughter.

When I arrived the next morning Lindsay was already there with Brummell - she was in his stall with him so I stood a distance away and healed from there - this was their time.  I asked for all my spirit guides, human and animal, to surround Brummell and Lindsay in beautiful healing white light and asked them to send the strength for us all to get through this experience.  Lindsay then took Brummell out for a walk in the field with the long grass where he had a good attempt at chomping some of it even though he didn't have any teeth left!  I watched from the gate as they enjoyed their last time in this life together.  The sun came out and shone brightly.

Then it was time - Lindsay's mum had come to collect her as she didn't want to be there at the final moment knowing that this would be far to stressful to bear.  The universe knew that I had to wait and learn more in this lesson and my car was blocked in by the vehicle of the people who had come to put Brummell to sleep so as I watched Brummell being led into the barn and the door being closed I knew that I was just waiting for the huge bang of a gun - I closed my eyes and asked all of my guardians to come closer and to surround Brummell and to hold him and then help him gently to the ground as I heard the noise that wasn't what I expected - it wasn't a big bang of a gun instead a softer bang.  Brummell had left his failing body and was heading off to discover what his new life would be.

I left the stables and was heading to my sisters house when I got a call from Lindsay to say to come over to her house so I headed there knowing that is where I needed to be.  We chatted, laughed and cried - it reminded me of how everyone behaved after my little sister died - no one really knowing what to do with the emotions they felt so everything spilling out at the same time.

I then headed to my big sisters house where I had a bit of a meltdown - holding the space so that Brummell and Lindsay could have their last time together was tough but I wouldn't have changed it for the world and thank you to my big sister for hugging me and listening as I tried to speak whilst sobbing!

That night and morning with Brummell and Lindsay confirmed to me that I am a good strong healer and that I need to continue my work and I have since then specialised in bereavement healing.  Dealing with bereavement has been part of my life for the past 31 years and because I know that you can't just accept and move on from the pain of someone or a pet dying I think that makes me a better and stronger person and I want to help other people feeling the same as I have done and still do to understand that its ok to feel the grief for as long as we need to and not to be pressured to get over it.

suzxxx

Working with the Amazing Horse Energy

I have just spent 4 days on my Equine Healing Diploma Course.  I LOVED being with the horses!  I have been drawn to horses since I was very small and can still remember Christmas when I was 12 years old and I was given a riding hat, a pair of jodpurs, a pair of riding boots and a whip (never used of course!).  I was so excited that I was going to actually ride a horse!

At my first lesson I got on my riding school pony and I flung my arms around her neck (her name was Lady) and hugged her as if she was my very own pony.  She was such a wee sweet heart although she loved to run up the back of the other ponies making them kick out!

I learnt so much in those lessons that stood me in good stead for riding into my adult life - I remember all the fun pony club games like riding whilst standing on the saddle - I have no idea how I managed to do that as there is NO WAY I would try that now - although whilst in Argentina in January I did canter hands free and I thought that would never happen so never say never!!

The relay races were my favourite - I loved cantering like a loony to pass the baton on.  I came from those days with a huge love of horses but also a great understanding and up until I was 30 I would ride any horse in any circumstance - bareback, jumping, cross country, galloping with a loony horse called mulder down on the beach - all of those things i took in my stride until when I was 31 I went to trial ride at the International League for Protection of Horses in Aberdeen and was looking to take an ex race horse called Cigaro home - he was a big beautiful bay gelding (boy horse with his bits chopped!) with a pin in one of his front legs from a jumping injury - they said he would never jump again but he would be a fab horse for hacking out and that was what I was looking for.  So I got on him but for the first time in my 18 year riding history I was riding a horse that didn't have a Martingale - not sure if it was part of my test but I failed!

A Martingale stops the horse from raising its head high up which can unbalance you and the horse.  So Cigaro didn't have a martingale which made it harder to control him as he did lift his head high and when I tried to bring his head down he would fight against me and over a period of 30 minutes we fought with each other until he would go into fast canters that I kept bringing him in from but then everytime we went into a corner of the riding arena in trot he would transfer straight into canter and he would get faster and faster until we were so fast I lost control and as we careered across the school and were heading to the side wall at high speed I made the decision to exit so I half fell and half jumped off, bouncing on the soft sand in the school.  I wasn't injured but I have spent the last 12 years trying to get back the confidence I had that led me to riding Cigaro in the first place.

I tried going back for lessons but just ended up in tears knowing that my life of riding was over - I was devastated as I was so ready to have my own horse.  I still wanted to be around horses though so have spent the last 10 years visiting friends horses and helping my neighbour with hers when she needs help so I have kept my hand in.

It was 2 years ago on my trek from Nepal into Tibet that I began to learn that I could ride again and that I would get my confidence back - it was on the back of a beautiful little mountain pony called Ginger who took me up some of the most terrifying mountain paths that I learnt to trust horses again.

Since then I have pushed myself forward, with the help of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) which really helped get me over my fear and I have been riding regularly for the last 18 months and made it my mission to ride in each country on my travels through south america and I am so glad I did as this has now lead me to my year of horse learning!

I have now started my Equine Healing Diploma with Elizabeth Whiter who I did my Small Animal Healing Diploma with and also my Natural Animal Food Remedies course.

The last 4 days have been extraordinary, I have worked with ex race horses and future show jumping champions along with pet pony's and horses that are just good hackers.  All of them had the most amazing energy.  They have such a high vibrational energy although the feeling from each horse does range from being very grounded to those that are really not that grounded at all.  We got to work with old horses and young horses.  It really was a fantastic experience.

Horses themselves have such a great healing energy that it is so nice to work with the horses that are happy and well balanced - healing for them is just like have a nice massage for us - we are maintaining our bodies rather than dealing with any specific emotional issues.

I am so looking forward to getting started on my case studies and working with my friends horses and seeing how I can help make their life a bit easier and from September I start my Equine Behaviour Qualification which will be pretty full on - I am a bit rubbish at all the science stuff but I am so interested in horse behaviour I hope I will thrive on the course and my brain will be made to work in ways that it is just not used to!

I am looking forward to making a difference in the lives of the horses that I know but also hoping that I can do a bit of horse rescue work too.  I may have the opportunity to go to Egypt in January to work with ACE who are a charity that treat the working horses and donkeys for free.  We watched a video from the visit last year and although there are some really harrowing stories the volunteers who went out were able to make a big difference in a short time.

I can't wait to continue my work with these amazing animals with the most amazing energy!

suzxxx

If at first you don't succeed try, try again.

So four spiders in as many days has me looking into what message from my guardians I am supposed to be receiving!

Adrian my lovely Shaman who I spent my first day at Macchu Piccu with had told me that my guardians will appear in the form of living beings to give me messages and at the point he said that a huge millipede crossed the path of where we had buried our offering to Mother Earth and he looked at me and said "you have many feet and will travel" well he was right about that, I think I have been away from home more this year than I have been in it - I should own Easyjet with the amount of flights I have done since I got back from South America.

Anyway last Wednesday morning at 4am I felt a tickle on my back which woke me up but I thought it was just my hair until I felt it again and I shot out of my bed - I had a long eight legged friend in my bed!  so after she was despatched safely outside I went back to my bed.  The next day I woke up at 6am to find a little black sturdy spider about 2 inches from my head on the wall above my bed - again she was dispatched safely out onto the deck, the same day but in the evening I was sitting having a glass of wine out on the deck which is just outside the bedroom with my laptop on my lap a little funny spider with different shaped legs walked over the top of my laptop - so after 3 of them I have to ask what is the message and started to do some google research.

Lots of websites say its about creativity and strength but I didn't think it was that - I am being creative and strong every day!  It was my friend who said what about Rabbie Burns - he wrote about a spider so of course I looked up his poem and of course the message to Robert the Bruce as he watched the spider try to build its web was that if at first you don't succeed try and try until you do.  Robert the Bruce then went on to batter the English at Bannockburn.

So where in my life is this message relevant?  I have thought about this and of course I live my life by this moto - I never give up and always keep going until I succeed so I can't think why this message would be for me until one of the lovely ladies pointed it out to me today when I got a message from my Guardian Angel in the meditation we did today on the Equine Healing course.  The message was of course - If at first you don't succeed try try again - but this meditation showed me the image of me falling off a horse but also being surrounded by unicorns who helped make my landing a soft one.

When I fell off Oliver a month ago I hurt my back but only the bit of my back that is usually sore and really it could have been so much worse as he is so big and also I got my foot caught in the stirrup so was dragged for a wee bit.  I know my guardians protect me at all times so know I got of lightly because they were watching me - although why they couldn't have stopped oliver bucking I don't know - that would have been the best use of their time to be honest!!!

Anyway I am determined not to spend 10 years of my life not riding again just because I fell off and I am determined to get back on and ride as much as I can but I haven't yet and a month has passed so I think that my guardians have been sending me spiders to remind me that you have to keep trying and eventually I will lose my 'hot seat' and horses will stop throwing me!!!

The forth spider with a message appeared at my friend Donna's house when I visited her on Friday night down south while I was on my Equine Healing course.  She asked me to ask him to leave and I explained that he looked quite happy - he was one of those big brown ones with up and down legs - the ones that run really fast if you disturb them!!  anyway I wasn't willing to move him as he had already lost a leg and I didn't want to hurt him so Donna went to get our other friend Alison who is an animal communicator - OMG - she is amazing!  She sat and talked to the spider for about 5 minutes and the next thing this spider was jumping into the plastic tub we had for it so we could put it outside.  It was amazing to watch and just shows that if we ask sometimes we get!  Alison is apparently well known for asking spiders to do her bidding and frequently jump into plastic bowls and allow themselves to be removed.  AMAZING!  I generally don't spend that much time with the spiders when they are in the house - a quick apology for what is about to happen which is usually them being tossed into a plastic bowl using a piece of card and then put outside and the door closed very quickly behind!

So I take my message from my guardians appearing as spiders and say thank you - I will keep trying until I succeed and as far as i am concerned this means until I have my own horse - which I will definitely have in the next year or so - I have waited 43 years to have my own horse and I know the wait is nearly over.

My message back to my guardians is - please don't send me spiders again!!! I am scared of them!!!  I can deal will millipedes so send me a few of those big beasties!!!

So look out for the messages from your guardians, they are not always whispered in our ears or given to us by Psychics - they can appear in physical form when we least expect it!

suzxxx